i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize