your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
