Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
