just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
