there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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