ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
