Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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