does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
