erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Someone signed my nipple.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize