so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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