Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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