Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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