Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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