apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
