And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
