i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
