guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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