You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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