just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
