I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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