I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
