Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
