She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
