So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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