If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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