My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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