It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
