He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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