Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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