I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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