some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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