You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
