i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
