i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am full of burrito and curiosity
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There's always time for handjobs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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