do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
