dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i think my cat just said my name.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
