ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text

  Fav 7 964 1384

  share tweet
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice

  Fav 23 7918 1164

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird

  Fav 11 6583 1907

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

  Fav 55 6158 1775

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  He just wants an even tan

  Fav 18 4461 1474

  share tweet
  

• (850): View more from Florida

  You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer

  Fav 2 3233 891

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

  Fav 15 2960 841

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.

  Fav 2 1105 650

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee

  Fav 3 890 643

  share tweet
  

• (361): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.

  Fav 3 902 602

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka

  Fav 1 105 143

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..

  Fav 2 57 19

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich

  Fav 0 58 23

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.

  Fav 0 36 3

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (804): View more from Virginia

  woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.

  Fav 0 61 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize