Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
