she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
