dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
