I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
