Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
