so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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