Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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