If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
