Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize