i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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