How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
