Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
