Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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