i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize