I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
