You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
