It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize