I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
