Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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