I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
