Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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